i have a weak stomach

ok. i normally admire bravo! tv for taking people who you would actually hate and exploiting them for reality tv purposes resulting in you ending up finding something about them to like. examples, all of the real housewives shows, and that guy jeff and his co-star- his lip injections- on flipping out. however, there is one instance where bravo! tv missed the mark. and that instance is rachel zoe (pronounced ZO as opposed to ZO-EE' like anyone with a brain and the resource of literacy would pronounce it).
rachel zoe's "purpose" in life is to style celebrities for red carpet events. huge WTF here because this joke-of-a-human always looks a mess. sorry, life, but i won't let a hair stylist who has bad hair touch my lockes, i won't let a mechanic who drives a ghetto-blaster work on my car, and wouldn't let someone who always looks as rough and unkempt as rachel zoe dress me ... ever. so how did she get this job? i guess the answer is "it's hollywood." i mean, mel gibson still works in a town almost entirely run by jewish moguls.
lets journey to the land of buzz words. now, i love a good buzz word. when paris hilton tried to copyright the word hot i was in heaven. the only good thing that came from christian ciriano (sp?) is the word ferosh (fah' rowsh). and as much as i think mia michaels is a total pilltard, i live for her saying a dance was gorgois (gore' zwahh). but rachel zoe's buzz words give me full-on crabs-of-the-soul. case and point: 'major.' everything good is described as major. this is major, that is major. hey rachel zoe, you're a moron. and also whenever you say ' i die!' i wish you just would already and open up your time slot on bravo! to something worthwhile.
and this is a special message to rachel zoe's -wife- i mean husband, rodger, grow a pair. first of all, the idea of you being sexually attracted to women is laughable. please continue to shoot scenes with 'your boys' (who are you? 1997's marky-mark?), aka your gays, where you all pretend to be watching and understanding a football game. next, if it upsets you so much that your wife neglects you for her work, blah, blah, wah, then either put your stiletto clad foot down, or leave her annoying ass already so you and brad (rachel zoe's big gay assistant) can finally live the truth of your manlove.
speaking of brad, it is so awesome to watch him secretly find rachel to be a total waste of humanity and pretend to care about her inane rambling. in fact every now and again he will say something is major with a twinge of disgust and loathing in his voice, as though he can feel himself selling his soul. he says "oh, that is so major" but what he means is "sign my big fat paycheck, skeletor. i'm getting famous."
i'd love to keep this rant going, but the rachel zoe project is about to come on on bravo. that's a joke, minions.